Bravery and Beer
by The Steppy One
Summary: Written for the prompt 'Ron wants a House Elf'. Pregnant Hermione and sensitive Ron :D


**::waves::**

**'Nother one of my LiveJournal anniversary prompt fics for you. Bit of Ron/Hermione fluff :D**

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'I think we need a House Elf.' 

Oh, well done, Weasley. There are at _least_ a hundred other, _better_ ways to say that sentence.

And I may be about to die because of that certain lapse in concentration.

Talk quickly, Ron. You're very pregnant wife is about to kill you.

'Look, I know you hate that idea for so many different reasons, but let me explain why I think we could do with the help.'

Keep talking, and fast!

'I know I'm being a terrible husband at the minute what with the Department going through a reshuffle, and I'm trying my hardest to get time off, but Harry's temper is about as long as a Gnome's nasal hair at the minute due to my sister not being easy to be around when seven months pregnant and missing flying, so I'm still not here as much as I should be. You've been told by the Healers to stay off your feet as much as you can, so having another pair of hands around the house to do the housework and the other mundane tasks would help you no end.'

Bollocks. There's the deep breath and rearranging of herself so she can sit up and shout at me better.

Keep talking, Weasley.

'I'd suggest you and Ginny help each other out, but I can't subject you to a pregnant Weasley woman's temper for longer than is absolutely necessary. That would do your blood pressure no good, which is what I'm trying to keep a normal level by suggesting a House Elf come and live with us until the baby's born. Well, no, me suggesting it is probably sending your blood pressure sky high, but it being here would help you.'

And there's the glare. Yep, knew that would come out eventually.

'Look, it wouldn't have to live here all day every day, only when I'm not here. Say we borrowed one of the Hogwarts Elves, it could arrive as I go to work in the morning, do the housework, make your lunch and do any shopping we need. It can go back to the castle when I come home and if you want we can request one of the free House Elves who are taking payment for their work at Hogwarts and pay them for coming here as well.'

Still glaring at me, but not shouting. Yet. Time for the final shot.

'Hermione, I love you and I know how much it's annoying you to be off your feet and having to rely on other people to do things for you, but it's only for another month and it'll all be over. That's if the little one hangs on for that long. If they're anything like their mother they'll be early!'

I risk a small smile and my panic lessens slightly when her top lip twitches.

'Please, Hermione. I need to know that you're okay at home whilst I continue to be a bad husband at work. As soon as I'm at home permanently we can send it back to Hogwarts if you want, but until then, please let someone else look after you.'

Well, that's it. Those were my pathetic attempts to get my beautiful, very pregnant and very irritable wife to accept help from a species she thinks are over worked and underpaid.

I'm so gonna get hexed to within an inch of my life.

She turns her head away from me and looks out the window. I take this to mean that she will respond shortly and that I should wait to be called when she is ready.

Time for a pee.

I'm just finishing when I hear Hermione shout my name. Which is typical.

Apparently I'm not fast enough washing my hands because when I open the door, her patronus is hovering at my eye height, it's small arms folded and it's tail tapping against it's foot, obviously annoyed and waiting for me.

'We have another toilet, you know!'

It glares at me and bares it's sharp pointy teeth. I swear if anyone found out I was intimidated by Hermione's patronus, I'd never live it down.

I hurry downstairs and walk through to the lounge where Hermione is still sitting.

'Sorry, love, was just having a…I mean, I was just in the toilet.'

She turns her head and looks at me.

'Sit.'

I sit.

'Firstly…'

Oh, crap, she's numbering her responses.

'I do not like being cut off before having the chance to reply to anything you say, Ronald, and you know it!'

Glare number one noted.

'Secondly, I suggest you don't annoy Ginny or myself any more than usual. Us 'pregnant, hormonal, Weasley women' stick together, you know. I'm sure Ginny is coping very well with a one year old and a stressed husband whilst seven months pregnant.'

Glare number two noted.

'Thirdly, my feet are aching.'

Glare number three acknowledged and I commence with the feet rubbing.

Hermione settles back in her chair.

'About your…idea…I'm not happy about it, obviously you know that or you wouldn't have waffled on for ages trying to convince me it was a good idea.'

I continue to rub her feet and it seems to soothe her a little.

'I would prefer there to be an alternative. Your mum offered to help but with the amount of grandchildren your brothers are piling on her on a daily basis, I don't think it's fair. Plus I'd be constantly reminded that your mum managed to continue to raise six children, two of which were Fred and George and still cope while pregnant with Ginny.'

'This isn't a competition, Hermione. It's what's best for you and the little one.'

Thankfully I raise a small smile from her.

'I know, which is why I'm agreeing to the House Elf.'

'You're kidding me!'

'But only if it agrees to accept payment. A free House Elf only, okay?'

'Of course, love.'

'And no one finds out about this either! We ask McGonagall and McGonagall only and then no one else knows. Right?'

'Right! Yes! Of course! No one else will know.'

'If anyone asks how I'm coping we tell them that various family members are popping in when they have the chance, until you finish work for paternity leave.'

I couldn't help it, I grin at her and lean over to kiss her. She doesn't push me away so I think I'm forgiven.

She pulls back an inch.

'Did I say you could stop rubbing my feet?'

I laugh out loud and kiss her once more.

'My sincerest apologies, my love. Can I get you anything else? Herbal Tea? Water? Any bizarre food combination you could wish for?'

'Just some water, thank you.'

I kiss her once more and walk into the kitchen.

'Ron,'

I turn back and peer into the lounge.

'You were very brave today, you may have a beer.'

I think my excitement may have been noticed.

'Once you've brought me my water, and you have to have it in the kitchen and brush your teeth afterwards.'

I can do nothing but grin and nod. Hermione lost all tolerance to the smell of beer months ago; it just hasn't been worth the hassle or the hexings to have one.

Unless I have permission of course.

I take a cold glass of water to my wife and she giggles as I practically skip out of the lounge.

I should try being brave more often. My beer awaits!


End file.
